There are certain things that guys should just not say to a female unless he is purposely planning his certain demise. I've always assumed that these things were covered in "boy 101" but apparently there are still some remedial students out there. So, I thought I would help out said students by giving certain examples of what not to say/do. Note: i am not a guy-hater. I love guys. I plan to spend the rest of my life with a guy. My dad and my brother: both guys, and i love 'em. So take this with a grain of salt:
1. "Your perfume smells like my grandmother's soap" -- this comment was said in innocence by a gentleman, however I recommend NEVER comparing a female's ANYTHING to your grandmother. never. maybe it sounds good in your head, but once it leaves the lips it's a sure-fire shot to the foot.
2. "Whoa, I think you've got enough food there" said as the female takes 4 of 4 barbecue wing. you know, the mini-ones? No matter how confident a girl is, making a comment about how she's eating too much food will bring her self-confidence down about 4 notches. Not a good idea, even if you're joking, comments like this can never be taken the right way. I'm pretty sure there are bulimics and aneroxics out there that were pushed over the edge by comments like this.
3. Here's a "don't do": don't initiate e-mail/call/text/write a girl if you have no intentions of ever contacting her again. really. I know you probably have good intentions, but the girl will probably just take it the wrong way. That's something that you can't control, but that's just the way it is.
4. Don't call a girl "dude" or man" on a regular basis. The only time this is allowed is when you are trying to drive the point home that you are not interested. But for friends who are girls, do them a favor, and abstain from calling them any sort of "guy" nickname.
5. NEVER ask a girl if she likes sausage. This one i'll admit it happened to me. it was very random, very awkward, I didn't even know the guy that well. I think he regretted it after he said it, but at that point, it was too late, there's no recovering. And if you don't know what I mean by "liking sausage" too bad, because I'm not gonna be the one to tell you.
I'll admit, I've said some things i've regretted, created quite a few awkward moments (I've been sworn to never say the phrase "packin' heat" again), but girls are more sensitive than guys and that is a very important thing to remember my friend. (i.e. my one reader :) )
6 comments:
I'm a guy, and I have to admit I constantly say inappropriate things to women. Coincidentally or not, those usually happen when I have an adult drink in my hand. Or my stomach.
Yet, the one thing I ever learned not to say to a girl -- and you can buy me as many drinks as you want as a test of this -- is to ask a seemingly pregnant woman about her pregnancy.
A guy should not ask a girl if she's pregnant unless he has the certainty she's pregnant that can only be ascertained by fact of being in the room watching as a doctor physically pulls a newborn from her womb.
That's my take.
good work em, keepin' those boys in the know!
what about the time you asked that sacker to hold your coconuts at United?
I love this blog.
Dear Faithful Readers,
Perhaps you read in the last comment about "coconuts" and an alledge holding of them..what was left out of this hilarious story was that I was merely a young yogurt worker sent to United to purchase 2 bags of shredded coconut. but yes, even I, accidently say inappropriate things on occasion..or maybe every day.. okay every hour!
no way! i was going to mention the infamous coconuts....
can I add to the list?
a boy shouldn't say
"yeah, but she'd be prettier without glasses" ESPECIALLY when the girl being referenced is in ear shot... wearing glasses.
jerks.
thanks for the amazing advice. I'm gonna stop calling girls dude.
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