In honor of it being October and we all know what October is good for... No not for me getting sick after eating a whole bag of rolos (sheesh people, one bad Halloween decision and you're tagged for life) No, October is good for BASEBALL! So, in honor of America's Favorite Pasttime, I've decided to write a little tribute to baseball. After watching several playoff games, I realized that baseball players have some funny names. So, here's a short list of the best names in baseball:
1. "Coco Crisp" Red Sox Center Fielder, real name is "Covelli Loyce Crisp" but really, with the last name Crisp, why not?
2."Kenny Rogers" Tigers Pitcher, Not to be confused with the singer of one of the greatest duets of all time "Islands in the Stream" with Dolly Parton.
3. "Chone Figgins" Angels Third Baseman. I can't even fathom the conversation that went on when deciding what to name this guy. "What about Bob?" "No, too plain.", "Josh?" "too preppy", "Chone?" "yeah! just right!"
4. "Boof Bonser" Twins Pitcher, lots of words rhyme with boof: hoof, doof, aloof, goof etc...
5. "Huston Street" Oakland A's Pitcher, Apparently the person who filled in his birth certificate got the name and address boxes mixed up....
6. "Milton Bradley" Oakland A's Right Fielder, what can I say? He makes a great game.
7. "Emil Brown" Royal's Right Fielder, this one is my personal favorite.... for obvious reasons!
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I've come up with a short list of ways to know that the jeans you're about to try on would look better on the rack:
1. If the zipper is shorter than you're pinky finger...trust me on this one people, not a good sign!
2. If it takes you 5 minutes just to get the tab undone. Think about it: you're rushing to the bathroom, barely holding it in, do you really want to be messing with that in an emergency situation?
3. If the jeans have enough diamonds and jewels on them that they would make Dolly Parton shy away.
4. If you have to recreate the "zipping up with pliers" scene from Dazed and Confused, just put 'em back.
mmmmk. That's all I've got right now. Because I love you all, I'll keep shopping in hopes of finding more tips.
Maybe the greatest line of all time "The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!" -Thank you for smoking: pretty good movie, have remote in hand towards the beginning (if you're in mixed company and don't want a super-awkward situation)
Also, one of the prestigious professors at my school gave me a pep talk today about how I need to travel after I graduate. Someplace exotic, someplace that would make Globe Trekker proud. That's one lecture I will never forget and will definitely take heed.
2 comments:
you wear jeans? I'd almost forgotten about that garment in the sea of pregnancy wear.
Flicka- me, you.
Hey there's a 5K on the 21st somewhere here in town to raise money for homeless pets...I was thinking about it. Have you heard anything?
Emily
You owe me a climb up the wall at the rec. I wont forget.
Rosa
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