Do I sound like a broken record?

I'm in Africa. In Namibia, the unemployment rate is approximately 50%. Next week, I'll visit an orphanage that has over 45 children in a 4 bedroom home. So much poverty, sadness, disparity, and need.

And yet, even while being surrounded my other's desperate states, I'm selfishly struggling with continued frustration that I am still single.

I've had several people that I've met already, ask me if I'm in high school. No worries, I look young, I'll be glad about it later. Perhaps its because I look 16 that I'm told frequently "Emily, You are too young to be worried about not being married." Here's the thing: I'm 27 and have wanted to not be single for about about 4 years. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not obsessed about "the wedding". I could care less about that. And it's not about just having the title of being "married". I'd rather be single and 35, then married to the wrong person. I'm looking for God's best for me.

I pray for God's will to be done, that's my first desire. My second is to find a Man of God whom I can be a helpmate to, let God love through me, and be a reflection of God's love of the church with. However, I realize that God's will may not be for me to find that Man, and that's a harsh reality for me currently.

I sat next to a super-nice Australian woman, 29 years old, who runs a cattle farm in western Australia, with over 1400 head of cattle. She wasn't a Christian, but yet even she expressed the same frustrations I did about being the age we are and single, and wanting to be married, but only to the right one, not just anyone. So, I realize I'm not alone in this. Though, some days even that thought doesn't quite soften reality.

So, first, pray for God's will to be done. Second, Pray for the people of Africa, that they would know God. Third, pray that my heart would be tuned to HIS will, no matter what I want.

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This is me, unpacking all the "Christmas gifts" for mom and dad, after about 36 hours of travel... I crashed about one hour after this picture was taken....

When the world seems to shine, Like you've had too much wine, that's amore

"We're happier today than we were 6 months ago" -My dear friend Sarah, speaking on her 6-month wedding anniversary

February always makes me think of love. And no, not just because of a random date that Hallmark or Shoebox, or *Insert random name of Greeting Card company* picked in order to sell more merchandise. Nope, February makes me think of love, because I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for February love....uh, not that kind of love. (SHEESH! I WAS BORN IN MARCH FOLKS!) Let me re-phrase, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my parents, meeting in February and FALLING IN LOVE.

My parents were set up on a blind date. I get different details every time I hear the story, but the gist of it was my mom's college roommate wanted to set my mom up with a friend of her boyfriend's. The evening came, and my mom refused to go. The roommate pleaded, He's downstairs waiting! You've got to come!, finally my mom gave in. They went on a 2nd date very shortly after. Apparently, my dad told my mom he was going to marry her on their 2nd date. {My dad denies this even today, however I am more prone to trust my mom's memory; my dad still runs through the whole list of his kids names and a random assortment of pet names before he gets to mine}

They met in February, got engaged in May, and were married August 30, 1969. I don't know if there is any such thing as "falling in love heritage" but I kind of like to think there is such a thing. So when every February rolls around I think, "this could be MY february;" I think no matter what month it happens it, it will happen fast, like my parents. Because when you know, you know. [or so I'm told]

38 years, 4 kids, 6 grandkids, 3-post-graduate-degrees, 20+ moves, and one parental death later, my parents are still married. Easy? I think they'd both agree heck no. Worth it? Most definitely yes. I asked my mom yesterday if they were happier today than when they got married 38 years ago. Her response: "Oh gosh yes, so much happier"

Hearing that makes me look forward to My February.