An essay response to my dad's previously constant question: "When are you going to medical school?" --top ten reasons why I wouldn't be a doctor

I'm in Boston right now for the marathon and to see my brother for a couple of days. As I write this, I'm sitting in a conference room with my brother as he studies, on a Saturday night, lending him support by being another warm body in a cold building filled with nude mice, research projects, and one lone security guard.
If I was the one who decided which people got into medical school, I would definitely let him in. Unfortunately, I'm not that person. So, instead, I lend my company, and an ear to listen if needed.

There are multiple reasons why I will never be a doctor. I've compiled my top ten.

10. I look better in a short lab coat jacket. Doctor's wear long ones.

9. Medical school is competitive. Unless we are playing a board game, don't put me in the competitive category. Competition doesn't spur me on. I realize I will never be #1 at anything, and I am totally okay with that. What I loved about physical therapy school, was that it was never a competition. We were all there to learn, and now being a professional, it's always about helping your fellow PT do better.

8. It's difficult to be a doctor and a mom. Note: I did not say "impossible" or "unadvisable". I salute all women who have a career and are a mom, however I purposely chose a career where it was not as difficult to be a mom, and still work part-time. Kudos to the Dr. Mom's out there.

7. Hospital food. Enough said.

6. I don't think I could ever put a needle inside someone. It gives me chills just thinking about it. I'd feel so bad poking and prodding around just to find a tiny vein! Give me a cadaver any day to work on, and I'd be perfectly happy, but don't ask me to shove a tiny needle in someone.

5. Scrotal edema. Edematous scrotum. I encountered it once as a physical therapy aide and it burned scars on my eyeballs. I hope to never see it again, and I have a feeling you can't avoid things like that in medicine.

4. Is anyone going to read reason #4 since it came after the scrotal edema comment?

3. Egos. I have no patience for people with big egos, who totally wiped out their humility brain cells as they went on hour #2 of talking about themselves. Not that everyone in medicine is egotistic, but the farther you go up the intelligence food chain, the greater number of people who think they are bad a**.

2. One of the best things about being a physical therapist is that I get to build relationships with people. Most of my patients I see for at least 4 weeks at a time, 1x-2x a week, and you learn a lot about a person when you see them that often. I love it when a patient shares thoughts, memories, and experiences with me since they now consider me a friend. A month ago, I visited a church that one of my patient's goes to and I was fortunate enough to meet her husband and get to know them better. During one of our appointments a couple weeks later, this woman shared with me how God had changed her life, and her outlook on life, after her ex-husband had broken into her home, raised a gun point blank to her forehead and fired. The gun misfired, the bullet never discharged, and he ran away. And the incredible thing is, through God's grace, she forgave him.

1. I love sleep. Seriously, I love sleep. Medical students, residents, and attendings alike sacrifice hours of sleep for our well-being. I am not willing to sacrifice my sleep. period. On top of that, I don't work well on lack of sleep, and I'll be honest: I become quite cranky without it. Eventually, after a few weeks on reduced sleep levels, my brain goes on autopilot and shuts down. This has happened about 3 times in my life, where I go to sleep, and hear nothing (that includes an alarm to get up for work/school!) until 10+ hours later. Not good when you're supposed to me the life saver.

Sorry dad, that I won't be following in your footsteps of taking the hypocratic oath, but I have a great brother who will.