Jet "We have a small delay" Blue

7:30AM: Leave for work with my suitcase in hand

4:30PM: Leave work

4:40PM: stop at local CVS for a few in-flight snacks and get cash for taxi ride to my hotel

5:00PM: get on the subway to go to the airport

5:20PM: get off the subway, head out to the airport shuttle

5:22PM: While riding on the airport shuttle, check my boarding pass only to realize... My flight DOESN'T leave at 6:45, it leaves at 6:00PM and STARTS BOARDING at 5:30 PM

5:22:30PM: finish freaking out. Try to call jetBlue to tell them to hold the plane.

5:23PM: still on hold.....

5:28PM: still on shuttle, when a nice lady informs me that we, (her and I) are on the wrong shuttle and we need to get on a different one

5:40 PM: have now gotten on the right shuttle and am racing to the airport door

5:45PM: After racing around trying to find my gate, going to the wrong security line, and racing back to the other security line, on the other side of the humongous lobby, I was then confronted with two security lines, both headed up by people digging for their license/boarding ticket...oh.my. Obviously these people haven't flown for 10 years.

5:46PM: (still holding it together) My conversation with the security agent as she checks my license:
me: (In a desperate voice) "I'm about to miss my flight, is there any way you can radio ahead and tell them to hold the plane?"

Her: (sarcastically) "Do you see a radio for me to use?"

5:46:10 PM: me. seething. seeing tears. seeing me punch the security woman in the face... Okay, no I didn't punch her but of course tears swelled up in my eyes and I grabbed the boarding pass from her hand, hoping she felt badly for being a big jerk. A big sarcastic jerk at a time when sarcasm was not needed.

5:48PM: Finally get through the metal detector, only to hear "We've need a bag check on lane 3" yep. you guessed it. me. and yes, you're right again, the tears that I had just dried from my eyes 30 seconds prior came rushing back again like a bursting dam. Dam. Dam. Dam.

5:51 PM: Still don't know where my gate is, I'm now running for the first jet Blue counter I can find.

6:02PM: Sitting. Sitting. No, not in the plane. Why you ask? Because my flight has been DELAYED until at least 9:15PM. Putting me into Austin after 2am.

7:30PM: Arrive back home, after paying a ridiculous $35 to take a cab home.

Next time, I think I'll just take a covered wagon. Surely I could make it home sooner, with less frustrations. Or a stagecoach, maybe I'll just ride bareback. Or hop a ride on a hot air balloon. All ways faster than this.