I had lunch today with two friends, and I shared with these guys my frustration regarding trying to find cool friends that like to have fun without getting wasted, drunk, sloshed, leathered, buzzed, ripped, hammered, sauced, and the list goes on...(figuratively and apparently literally, check it out ) One guy suggested that the reason so many people socialize in this way is because they're afraid of the possible awkward moments that may occur when you're getting to know someone and that it's easier to be the "cool guy" when you're drunk and so is everyone else.
The thing is, if you're not going to really know a person, awkwardness and all, then why bother being friends? The awkwardness is the best part. To know you can be totally dorky, totally awkward, totally YOU around people, and they still like you is an amazing feeling! I've never experienced it, but I think this feeling is a small part of what it must feel like to be in love. Knowing you can say something totally random, hoping it will come out funny, but realizing if it doesn't no big deal!
I spent a day this past weekend with a friend, and her friends, helping them fix up her house and what I realized was that these people aren't really friends! They are drinking buddies, which apparently is their definition of friend. Nobody encouraged, nobody really laughed, or felt comfortable being silly, because there was no liquid courage to enable them. I think that's real sad.
In moving to Boston, learning to be independent, and stumbling my way through becoming an adult, God has taught me a lot. I can't lie and say I am completely free of caring what people think of me, but I'm a lot more free to be myself around people I don't know. And nine times out of ten those people may think I'm a big dork with lots of awkward jokes and sarcasm, but I'm holding out for the 10th who thinks I'm just a little bit funny.
Speaking of awkward, how about some of my male patients who are old enough to be my dad and who flirt with me. Excuse me while I go heave, yak, insult my shoes...(insert the list goes on)
WHISTLE A SOLID TUNE!! HA! I just read that...
3 comments:
drinking friends sound like sad friends to me. I agree wholeheartedly, you should be able to have the awkward moments and know you're still loved with a real friend. I mean, just think, what would have happened when we flipped the frozen pizza face down on the floor if we hadn't been those kind of friends??? : ) On the plus side, we do have a real friendship, and, on that note, I need you to know that I just learned to make a jumping paperclip and I'm pretty pumped about it. Another glorious day on Google Home Page How-To's....
Finally, someone who voices the same opinion I've had for years. I've never understood the draw that alcohol has for so, so many people.
I'll freely admit that I'm just afraid of the "awkward" moment as the next guy, but it doesn't entice me to medicate the condition.
I'm grateful that my friends allow me to be myself... even if I am also the one cracking jokes that nobody gets. I make myself laugh, though, and that is all that matters, right?
I've had drinking friend and I've had real friends...I still have the real ones.
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