Around this time of year, all I hear are females (sorry ladies, its true) moaning and groaning about how much weight they're going to gain during the holidays and "woe is me, how will i ever make it through the month of December and not turn into a blue whale?!?" Alas, I have the answer: A kind stranger passed this recipe on to me only a few days ago, and I feel I would be betraying my fellow XXs if I didn't do the same. It's a recipe for success, a way to make it through the holidays without getting the nickname "Lardo".
Here are the ingredients:
2 cups loose stools
4 cups nausea
1 tsp achiness
1/3 cup of stomach cramps
Just a Dash of Headache
Mix this all together and let simmer for 8 hours. Drink it Christmas Eve and I guarantee binging on sweets will be the last thing on your mind. Trust me, I know. *insert another thank you to the kind stranger who passed this on to me* Beware, don't over do it on the ingredients, if you put too much in, you'll be sick the day after, and then you'll miss all the good shopping.
Off to finish my chicken soup and Sprite,
Em
3 comments:
That's a lie. I saw you at the strip. I mean, Hastings.
WHY on earth would one fine young singleton female want to publish such an horrific recipe with such disgusting ingredients. Please, lose the disgusting crude ingredients and return to more refined content! Or I may 'lose it'!!
To heck with thin..."fat is fine" is now my slogan.
to ensure accuracy, what sort of instrumentation is invovled in the measurement process?
don't be like granny who just says "cook it 'till it's done." i'm probably gonna need some specifics.
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